Saving You
by XxVampire27AngelxX
Summary: Sasuke's heart could be painted any colour... Has Madara corrupted him beyond repair? When Sasuke agrees to stay in Konoha, can he keep his sanity, or will Itachi's death prove too much for him? Only Naruto can save him, but it may be too late. SasuNaru.
1. Prologue

Plot: Sasuke's heart could be painted any colour... Has Madara corrupted him beyond repair? When Sasuke agrees to stay in Konoha, can he keep his sanity, or will Itachi's death prove too much for him? Only Naruto can save him, but it may be too late. SasuNaru.

Warning: None yet.

Disclaimer: Why would this be called fanfiction if I owned Naruto?

Inspiration: Pillar of Support, by bellabambina248 (This was the story that originally inspired Tears He'll Never See. Look it up!)

Music: Love The Way You Lie, by Eminem ft. Rhianna.

Video: http : / / www . youtube . com / watch?v=Y3e4X5jYMMM (I made this video =D)

A/N: Many people were surprised that I decided to redo Tears He'll Never See. But, you have to know, I didn't plan anything out before I wrote that. I went into the story cold. And though I managed to put some good emotion in (judging by my reviews), the history and storyline were underdeveloped. Now that I know what I'm dealing with, I've decided to redo it, with a slightly adjusted storyline. I think you'll like this one a lot better. Plus, it has a better title! That in itself should say something, shouldn't it? However... if no one likes this one, and prefers the old one, I'll simply continue from where I left off with Tears He'll Never See. Honestly, though, I think this one will be the preferred version. Just be sure to let me know, just in case this one sucks.

With that said, I hope you enjoy the new prologue, and revised Tears He'll Never See! Be sure to review, because that's really my inspiration to keep writing this.

* * *

**Saving You ~ Prologue**

_"Come to think of it, wasn't it your dream to become Hokage?"_

I said nothing. What was his point?

_"You should have spent your time training instead of wasting it running around chasing me."_

Maybe. But then I would never have gotten to see you. I also made a promise to Sakura, and I don't go back on my promises. I wouldn't have a choice, Sasuke, even if I wanted to give up on you.

_"Right, Naruto?"_

Wrong.

_"And this time, I'm going to kill you on a whim."_

My eyes widen, as your words blow in my ear. Tell me it's not true. Tell me I didn't run all this way just to have you stab me in the back! What's happened to you? Am I nothing to you now? Don't tell me you believe our ties were cut when you crashed that Chidori into my chest.

As I hear your sword scrape against its sheath, I guess there's no denying it. But that's okay. I never deserved to be Hokage.

_"Someone who can't even save one friend isn't fit to become Hokage. Right, Sasuke?"_

* * *

It's been almost two years since that first meeting, and six months since Sasuke came home. Exactly one year ago, Sasuke finally got his revenge on Itachi. Almost eleven months ago, I learned that revenge isn't worth it; that was the day I defeated Pein, and vowed to see Sasuke again. Nine months ago, Sakura tried to kill Sasuke, and Sasuke nearly killed her; I saw him then, and made my decision. Sasuke was worth saving—even without the promise I made to Sakura.

Those three months before Sasuke came to destroy Konoha were hard. All the villages had united to form a new army—simply called _Shinobi_. Everyone was running around, making battle plans, having last-minute training sessions. The air was tense. At the same time, we had people spying on the left over Akatsuki, with the addition of Kabuto. No one ever found out what the snake was up to. Even now, we still have people searching for him and trying to dig up dirt. So far, nothing.

I have a feeling we'll see him soon, though. The guy always pops up at the worst of times. Just like Orochimaru.  
Those were probably the three worst months of my life. I'd thought that losing Sasuke the first time (the second, the third!) was bad. I thought that the day Jiraiya died would forever be my worst. Because no matter what happened before, there was a way out of it; if I failed a mission, if I failed to find Sasuke, there was always a second chance. Jiraiya's death was something I couldn't change, and that's why I thought it'd be the worst day ever.

But I was wrong.

While I trained to control the Kyuubi, and prepared for the inevitable fight between me and Sasuke, I knew he was training too. All that time, I could picture him replacing his eyes with Itachi's, and getting stronger as each day passed. Madara would be his coach, his sensei, his trainer, just as Killer Bee became mine. Each day, Sasuke became more lost in revenge than before. And every day, he grew harder and harder for me to reach. Every moment Sasuke was away, he steadily lost himself. I should have realized that it was that way even before he killed Itachi. But I hadn't understood how easily Sasuke was influenced until Itachi himself told me Sasuke's heart could be painted any colour, if only by the right person. Every second of those months, I thought of that. I thought of how it might be too late for Sasuke by the time I saw him again. I had to accept that I might have had to kill him.

Surprisingly, it was those same words that gave me strength.

Even while I had to think about killing Sasuke (and ultimately, myself), I could still hold onto the belief that I could change him. Maybe, just maybe, I could repaint his heart. If there was just one little sliver of him left, then I could save him. I could bring him back. However, there are always complications . . . .

* * *

A/N: Okay, so originally there was more to this chapter, but I decided to open the first chapter with what I had. The prologue can just be a history of sorts. It works out, since that was the plan Miss Markova (one of my favourite authors!) gave me. To give you a teaser—just because I feel like it—the next chapter starts with the sentence...

_Today is the anniversary of Itachi's death._

If you were paying attention, you should already know this. But, next chapter deals with Sasuke and that! So look out for it! It'll be up relatively soon! (Because I'm exicted!) Make sure to review!


	2. Chapter 1

Plot: Sasuke's heart could be painted any colour... Has Madara corrupted him beyond repair? When Sasuke agrees to stay in Konoha, can he keep his sanity, or will Itachi's death prove too much for him? Only Naruto can save him, but it may be too late. SasuNaru.

Warning: None yet.

Disclaimer: Why would this be called fanfiction if I owned Naruto?

Inspiration: Pillar of Support, by bellabambina248 (This was the story that originally inspired Tears He'll Never See. Look it up!)

Music: Love The Way You Lie, by Eminem ft. Rhianna.

Video: http : / / www . youtube . com / watch?v=Y3e4X5jYMMM (I made this video =D)

A/N: This is in Naruto's POV again! Sasuke's will be next chapter. Sorry about the semi-late update. I promised it would be soon, but...it turns out it took a normal amount of time. I really had meant to update super soon, but it didn't really work out that way. Once again, sorry!

I was very happy with the number of reviews I got, though. I was so surprised, because I only had a prologue (a very SHORT prologue) up. Thank you to everyone who reviewed and/or added this story to their story alert subscriptions. It's inspired me to work hard on this story!

Before I let you read this, I have another apology to make. Being a fan of long chapters, I feel very discontent with the chapters I've been producing, and I'm sure you feel the same. However, I've been getting better. The chapters are still rather short, but they get longer the more I practice. So this is another short chapter, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Please review and give me your feedback! I like hearing your comments!

Thank you!

Oh! Before I forget, one more thing!

**Please go check out a narrative I wrote for class!** Yes, it was for class, but it's my best ever, I think. It's also pretty interesting. It might be worth it.

**Http : / / www** . Fictionpress . com / s / 2870060 / 1 / Operation_Number_051307

* * *

Today is the anniversary of Itachi's death.

It's a day I've dreaded for quite some time now. After all, it was Itachi's death that set Sasuke off on destroying Konoha in the first place. It was obvious that their love for each other was mutual; out of the entire clan, Sasuke was the one Itachi couldn't kill, and even though it would shatter Itachi's sacrifice into dust, Sasuke couldn't let his death go. To Itachi, Sasuke was more important than the future of Konoha; likewise, Itachi meant too much to Sasuke for him to leave the Leaf village standing. But there was one fatal difference. Itachi's actions stemmed purely from love. Sasuke's were created from a mixture of love and hate—a deadly combination.

I understand this well. I understand Sasuke's emotions, how he feels about his brother.

I also understand the consequences of a love/hate relationship.

Light was beginning to shine through the curtains. I turned my head to look at the clock. Its neon glowing colours read 5:30. It was almost time for Sasuke to wake up. Usually, he woke up before me. But I hadn't been able to sleep all night. I was too busy wondering what would happen today. What would Sasuke be like? Would he go into relapse and decide to get his revenge on Konoha again? I hoped with all my heart that Sasuke wouldn't. I hoped he'd just continue like it was a normal day. I hoped that he would forget the date, would forget to look at the calendar today.

While Sasuke's emotions and thoughts may be unpredictable, his actions certainly aren't.

Every day, he would look at the calendar. I wasn't sure of the reason why. Maybe he was tracking the days, maybe he was waiting for something. Or maybe he just wanted to make sure he knew what day it was. He never marked the calendars—never drew big red circles or X's like I do. One could only guess his reasons for checking the calendar as soon as he wakes up. The point is, he never fails to look at it.

Out of my many hopes for today, there was one that I could actually act on. I hoped to try and prevent Sasuke from looking at the calendar. Or at least stall him. So during my sleepless night, I had come up with the perfect plan. I would cook him breakfast! And it wouldn't be ramen. Sasuke doesn't usually like my cooking, but this time it'll be different, because I created the recipe for my Super Uzumaki Special Wake-Up Breakfast Delight.

After glancing at the clock one more time—5:31—I silently climbed out of bed, slipping on my fluffy walrus slippers as I stepped onto the ground. I held my breath as I tiptoed out my room, very slowly and quietly shutting my door. The walk past Sasuke's room was nerve-wracking. He was an extremely light sleeper, and this was the one day I didn't want to wake him. I was glad I chose the super fluffy version of these slippers; they muffled the sounds of my footsteps expertly.

Finally, I made it to the kitchen, with twenty-seven minutes left until Sasuke's internal alarm would go off. In any other house, cooking would be noisy and sure to wake anyone sleeping. But the house Sasuke bought for the two of us was special. It had a door to the kitchen. For some reason, Sasuke didn't like the kitchen being connected to the rest of the house (maybe it was specifically for the noise I make when I cook), so he had a thick wooden door installed, sufficiently muting the interior. Honestly, it was super useful, even if I didn't particularly like it.

With speed, I got out the pans, the plates, the cups, the coffee beans, the milk, the orange juice, the eggs, the ham, the turkey, the tomatoes, the ketchup, the onions, the bread, and whatever else I saw fit to go into the breakfast. The first thing I did was make the coffee and set it aside to roast. The next thing I did was slap some butter in the pan and wait for it to melt down. I wasn't really sure what I was making, but if the ingredients were good, the breakfast would be perfect! I just knew it would be. Even if it looked like soup in the end.

Happily humming a tune to myself (as I didn't need to be quiet in the kitchen—it was completely blocked off!), I cracked the six eggs open and dumped them in the pan, watching as the creamy butter mixed beautifully with the eggs to create a pale orange colour. I grabbed a whisk and stirred enthusiastically, gripping the handle with one hand so the pan wouldn't fly off the stove. After the eggs were blended enough, I put the whisk away.

I turned to the rest of my ingredients, wondering what to do with them. The ham, turkey, onions, and tomatoes all needed to be cut . . . but I had already started the eggs! I bit my lip, a little worried. Could I chop them all at once? My eyes slid over the two large hunks of meat, and the smaller balls of onions and tomatoes. Yes! I knew just what to do!

Smiling, I scooped them up and placed them in the pan. They made the eggs overflow a bit, but that was okay. Their size would reduce in no time! "Prepare yourself, breakfast!" I muttered, and created a shadow clone. I looked at him and nodded, reaching out my hand to go under his. Soon, my favourite blue ball of Rasengan was spinning in my hands. I let my clone go as I moved my hand carefully over the pan . . . and dropped it.

There was a large exploding sound and chunks of meat, tomatoes, onions, and butter-egg soup flew all over the place. The kitchen was now littered with food, and I had it all over me, but it was okay. Because the result was perfect! Just the right amount remained in the pan, and it was mixed together flawlessly; the tomatoes, onions, turkey, and ham sliced to perfection.

I grinned, pleased with myself. Now all there was left to do was pour the coffee, milk, and orange juice. Oh, and also let my Super Uzumaki Special Wake-Up Breakfast Delight finish cooking. I put the lid on the pan to let it cook, and then went to wash the cups. They were no exception to the food splattered kitchen. Once they were clean enough, I took a towel from the drawer to dry them. I didn't want Sasuke thinking I had just washed the cups. Because that'd be really lame.

As I poured the coffee into the coffee mug, I wondered if I should put cream and sugar in it. Come to think of it, I'd never seen Sasuke drink coffee. I was sure he did, because I alone couldn't finish all the coffee so quickly, but maybe I should have payed closer attention. Deciding to stay on the safe side, I left it black and put a cube of sugar next to the cup on top of the little plate it sat on. If he wanted milk, he could use the milk in the glass. I next poured the milk and orange juice, and set them next to the coffee. All there was left to do was to put the main course on the plate!

I took the lid off the pan and was met with the brilliant bubble of half-soup, half-something else. It didn't look too great, but boy did it smell nice! I was tempted to taste it, but I didn't. I wanted to see Sasuke's reaction to it first. But I bet he was going to love it. He loved tomatoes, and I made sure to put an extra amount in there. Of course, they no longer held any form, and there was no way of telling if there were tomatoes in there at all, but I was sure Sasuke would be able to taste them.

I poured my Super Uzumaki Special Wake-Up Breakfast Delight into a bowl, and then set it atop a plate just for decoration. I took a step back to admire my creation, and then looked at the clock. It was 5:57. I had three minutes to get this to Sasuke before he woke up and checked his calendar.

My mood dampened at the thought of this. Sasuke would remember the day even without seeing the calendar. It was inevitable. He'd become moodier and moodier as today drew closer, acting out more and being crueler than usual. It was foolish of me to even consider distracting him from the date. But maybe if he liked my breakfast, he'd be okay. Maybe, just maybe. I wanted him to start out in a good mood today, and I just hoped I didn't screw everything up.

Sighing, I brushed the scattered pieces of food off me and shook my head a little to get it out of my hair. The best I could do for now was force a smile to my face and try to cheer Sasuke up. I formed the signs to create two shadow clones and the three of us picked up Sasuke's breakfast. I carried the S.U.S.W.U.B.D., my left shadow clone carried the coffee milk, and the clone on my right carried the silverware and orange juice. Everything was set to go.

We exited the kitchen and made our way to Sasuke's room. I kicked the door open and shouted, "Good morning, teme!"

I flipped on the light switch and bounded over to my raven haired lover. He was awake immediately, and, unfailingly, glaring. I gave him a cheeky grin and sat down next to him on the edge of his bed. My shadow clones both smiled at him before disappearing. The drinks and silverware rested on Sasuke's bedside table.

"I made you breakfast!" I said, smiling happily at Sasuke. I held out the steaming bowl of soupy breakfast. "See?"

Sasuke stared at it for a moment before grunting and pulling himself into a sitting position. "What kind of breakfast is it?" he asked, his voice thick with sleep.

"It's the Super Uzumaki Special Wake-Up Breakfast Delight!" I told him enthusiastically. Shoving the bowl into his hands, I reached over to grab a spoon and a fork for him. "Here you go! Eat up! I made it special for you!"

I watched him carefully as he took the silverware from me and looked down at the breakfast. He already looked tired and sad, but at least he hadn't distanced himself yet. Even better, he wasn't angry either. He just looked . . . disgruntled. And a little confused, as he cautiously dipped the spoon into the soup. I stared at him eagerly, anxiously awaiting his response to the food.

Black eyes darted up to meet mine. "Are you sure it's safe?" Sasuke asked, a little bit of worry lacing his voice.

"Yeah! It's totally fine! Now stop being a bastard and eat it!" I glared at him, and then down at the breakfast I'd slaved over.

Sasuke seemed to repress a sigh before he rose the spoon to his mouth and took a bite. I couldn't tell if he liked it or not by his expression, but I just hoped he did. Finally, after agonizingly long moments, he swallowed.

"Well?" I asked.

Sasuke gave me a small smile. "It's good," he said.

"Good," I said, and gave a satisfied nod. I wasn't sure what to do as Sasuke ate his breakfast. He gazed out the window as he ate, not really paying attention to me. It was understandable, and probably better, because I really didn't know what to do. I could be annoying and pester him, but somehow, I felt that wouldn't be the best thing to do. So I waited nervously while Sasuke ate, feeling the tension increase as he became more and more awake. I stared down at the blankets, where my fists clenched them. Today would be rough. Oh God, please don't let Sasuke want to avenge Itachi's death again.

After a while, I felt eyes rest on me. I slowly looked up, meeting Sasuke's blank, black eyes. "What?" I asked, my heart starting to pump.

He looked at me for a moment longer, then finally asked, "Why are you covered in food?"

I looked down at my clothes, surprised. I thought I'd gotten it all off. "Oh," I laughed embarrassedly, looking back up at Sasuke. "I, uh, kind of Rasengan'd your food. ….Yeah."

Sasuke's eyes grew wide, and almost panicked. "The kitchen!" he said frantically. "Did you hurt the kitchen?" His expression was desperate, and almost fearful.

"The kitchen's fine!" I said, alarmed. What kind of reaction was this? "Why are you so worried about the kitchen?"

Sasuke relaxed as soon as I uttered the word "fine." He leaned back against the headboard, his eyes resting on the half-eaten plate of food that now rested in his lap. I held my breath, waiting to see if I would get a response. The seconds ticked by, and I was wondering what was wrong with Sasuke. The ticking of the clock grew louder, louder, and I began to get nervous.

Suddenly, Sasuke's hand clenched around the plate and it was thrown against the wall, shattering into pieces.

I jumped up. "Sasuke!" His head snapped towards me, and his eyes were a furious Sharingan red and black combo, already spinning. I stared into the red stars in them, internally wincing. "Sasuke," I said slowly. I took a shaky step toward him. "Come on, man, don't be like this." On the outside, I tried to remain casual, but on the inside, I was terrified.

The anger in Sasuke's eyes only increased. "Naruto," he bit out. His hands now clenched the sheets.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I killed Itachi."

For a moment, I didn't answer. I couldn't. What was I supposed to say to that? I didn't want to upset Sasuke by saying something stupid, like, "I know," or "What's your point?" There's nothing technically wrong with saying, "I know," but I get the feeling it would upset Sasuke. So, I said nothing. I just sat back down on the bed next to him. He jerked a little when I came near, but had no other reaction. I looked into his eyes again, and understood that he was waiting for a response.

Taking a deep breath, I said, "It wasn't your fault."

The last thing I saw before my eyes snapped shut and I was thrown across the room, was Sasuke's eyes go almost completely red with how six-point star expanded. My body crashed into the wall and then slid down to join the plate and soup. I reopened my eyes to see Sasuke standing up, hands clenched.

"Usuratonkachi!" he hissed. A single tear slid down his cheek. "You know it was my fault." I trembled. I hated it when Sasuke got like this. But what he said next was completely unexpected.

"And it's your fault too!"

Out of nowhere, a kunai came flying at my face.


	3. Chapter 2

Plot: Sasuke's heart could be painted any colour... Has Madara corrupted him beyond repair? When Sasuke agrees to stay in Konoha, can he keep his sanity, or will Itachi's death prove too much for him? Only Naruto can save him, but it may be too late. SasuNaru.

Warning: None yet.

Disclaimer: Why would this be called fanfiction if I owned Naruto?

Inspiration: Pillar of Support, by bellabambina248 (This was the story that originally inspired Tears He'll Never See. Look it up!)

Music: Love The Way You Lie, by Eminem ft. Rhianna.

Video: http : / / www . youtube . com / watch?v=Y3e4X5jYMMM (I made this video =D)

A/N: Sasuke's POV this time! And... this is pretty late, huh?

. . . . At least I didn't discontinue it.

And sorry this update is short too. I'm hoping that I'll get some motivation to write. The next chapter will also be Sasuke's POV. Hope you like this one, despite its length.

* * *

"And it's your fault too!"

These words burst from my mouth before I could stop them; I hadn't been thinking. I stared at Naruto, unable to break away from his gaze. His gaze that was oh so confused, and so hurt. The kunai knife I'd thrown at him had landed above his shoulder in the wall behind him. Maybe I'd meant for it to hit him, maybe I hadn't. But it didn't, so maybe I should be grateful. My words would hurt him more, I knew. My words were currently hurting him. But didn't he want the truth?

I could feel the madness set in as my Sharingan spun faster. Everything around me was blood-red, but not because of the Sharingan. A part of me wished it was. A part of me wanted to blame everything on these wretched eyes. The eyes I'd taken from Itachi should cause me to see red when I use them, but unfortunately, they did not. It was my own anger, the rage that I'd held for so long unleased once again toward Naruto. I glared at him now, those crystalline blue orbs never straying from mine, and knew all he saw was hatred. Hatred which I had directed toward him for months now.

But that wasn't all I felt. No. I felt guilt. Everytime this happens, everytime my emotions catch up with me and my actions betray my mind, I feel guilt and I feel sadness. Not for myself, but for Naruto. He never saw this, and I would never tell him, but because of me he was suffering again. Though, I suppose that isn't true. He's suffered all these years because of me, hasn't he?

Too bad he couldn't save me. Which leads us back to the current situation.

"My fault?" he whispers. Something passes through his eyes, but he drops them before I can distinguish what it is. His blonde hair falls into his face, shielding him from me. At this moment, he seems so defeated, but I can do nothing but continue to watch him in utter loathing.

"Yes," I sneer, "Your fault."

_I hated how my voice sounded. Oh Naruto, don't listen! I don't mean it. I swear!_

"Your fault for not saving me, Naruto," I continue, my voice growing harsher by the second. "If you'd have brought me back sooner, I would never have killed him."

His body begins to shake, like it does when Kyuubi takes form. But I know his shaking isn't from anger; it's like this everytime. He begins to shake, and then he cries, and begs and pleads with me to help him understand why. _Why_. What a question! What a notion! You'd think he'd understand by now. But he doesn't, and probably won't ever, not while I parade in this masque throughout this dance. He, so näive and trusting, will never realize his is the only face that's true.

The shaking worsens, and then comes to a brief stop, where his hands clench and take on the trembling. "I tried," he says brokenly. "I tried to bring you back, Sasuke!" His voice rises in volume and he snaps his head up to look at me. "How can you blame this on me when you'd spent the four years prior to that running away from me?"

My face remains blank as I simply cock my head to the side, saying nothing. I watch curiously as his face becomes redder and his breath becomes shallower the longer I refuse to speak. It was kind of amusing, really, how easily upset Naruto is. I drag this out a little longer, basking in the Naruto's agony, his desperate desire to know how I could blame him for this. My lips twitched as a small smile threatened to break on my mouth, and as the heat in the room intensified, I couldn't help but let that smirk unravel.

"How?" I repeat, sarcasm lacing my voice. "Well, I don't know, Naruto. What do you think?"

A bubble of laughter boiled within me, as Naruto clenched his teeth angrily. Now fuled by his anger, he took the courage to stand up, his clenched fists clenched harder still. "I don't fucking know, Sasuke!" he shouted. His eyes were like broken ice now, dangerously sharp but so startling fragile. "I tried so hard to find you! Everyone did! And each time I managed to catch you, you ran away! You kept hiding and hiding! How can you blame for this?"

Once more the question was asked.

This time while not answering him, I contemplated it. Yes, how was it his fault? I had, after all, been the one to reject him. But he should have tried to look at things from my point of view. Maybe if he had, he could have come up with a more convincing argument. But that wasn't the root of it, no. That wasn't the reason it was his fault. The real reason isn't even connected to his four-year chase of me. But I didn't want him to know. He didn't need to.

So I cruelly suggested, "Maybe it's because you should have been stronger."

The question had the desired effect. Naruto's eyes widened and those ice-like eyes threatened to break. The shaking began again, and he stared at me in disbelief. "Stronger," he echoed hollowly, leaning back against the wall, never once tearing his eyes from mine. I knew why he was so affected, of course. It was because he spent countless of hours straining just to _get_ stronger; stronger than me, ultimately, so he could capture me. I was sure I could imagine the rigorous training he did, and was certain that it was beyond torturous. But, oh well. Wasn't it the truth? Isn't it true that if he were only stronger, he could have brought me back home?

"You're so weak, Naruto," I mocked, my half-smirk-half-smile becoming full-fledged in an amused grin.

This did it. Naruto slumped once more to the floor, supported only by the wall and still half-hunched over himself.

_You're not weak, you're strong! Please don't listen to me right now. You know I don't mean it. You know, Naruto . . !_

I started walking forward, one hand reaching for the other kunai at my waist. I toyed with the handle as I neared Naruto, successfully bringing it out as I squatted in front of him. His head didn't lift, even as I weighted the weapon between my hands, directly level with his eyes (though I could not see them, as they were covered once more by wispy blonde hair). The only noise in the room was the unsteady breathing coming from Naruto and the muffled thuds of the kunai landing back and forth between my two hands.

We stayed this way for a while, neither of us saying anything, frozen in whatever our current actions were. I, myself, was thinking, studying Naruto's bowed head. How had we come to this? Of course, I knew, but I wish I didn't. Once upon a dream, I'd wanted a bright and happy future with Naruto; friends or otherwise, it didn't matter, because I'd thought being with him would make everything alright. Needless to say, it didn't. Naruto had believed it too. In fact, it was because _Naruto_ believed there was a happily-ever-after that _I_ believed in a fairytale ending. He'd convinced me, in our final battle. Before we finished each other off, he'd breathed to me the future we could have together, how happy I could be, if only he would allow him to _save_ me.

But it was too late. He couldn't see that I was already gone, consumed by darkness. He'd known that, because Karin had told him, but he still couldn't see it, couldn't accept it. And at the time, this blind faith had poured into me, Naruto's blinding light seeping into my mind and purifying it for the few moments it took me to agree and promise I'd stay home (_with him_); and promise I'd stop seeking revenge.

This light and happiness took only a month to fade. It was replaced by the same darkness that had consumed me after my clan's massacre, after Orochimaru's curse-mark blessing, and again after Itachi's death. Revenge was all I could think of, hate all I could feel. With Naruto, though, the hate came in swings. Sometimes, I could be happy—I _was_ happy, and I was a great friend to Naruto. But other times—and all too often—the hate would return, immediately trampling Naruto's hopes and wishes. And usually intentionally.

I reached out and tenderly threaded my fingers through Naruto's hair, lifting some of it from his face and pulling it back. I played with his hair for a few moments, wondering what to say next. For some reason, I really wanted to say his name. I wanted him to see I knew how much hurt I was causing him, and that I wasn't enjoying any of it. But I couldn't. Naruto couldn't see me like that, and he couldn't know the truth. Not while my eyes bled red and threatened genjutsu.

But I could still say his name.

"Naruto," I breathed.

His head slowly lifted, and now I saw: the ice had broken. Thin ice fallen through into the deep waters beneath. Tears leaked from his eyes, cascading down his cheeks in a steady stream. Sadness ripped through me at his broken expression, and I found myself inwardly battling myself. I was so angry with him, for letting me become this way, but at the same time I didn't want him to suffer. But what could I do?

"I'm never strong enough," Naruto choked out, a strangled sob accompanying it.

He grasped my hand that was holding the kunai with both of his in a stifling grip, as he looked at me in utter heartbreak. "N-no m-matter h-h-how . . . _hard_," he took a deep breath here, trying to calm his breathing, "I t-try, it's never g-good enough." A fresh torrent of tears made its way down his face, as clutched my hand more tightly.

Destroying all thoughts of regret, I twisted my hand out of his grip, pushing his head back against the wall with the fingers that were still laced in his hair. I leaned closer to him. "That's right," I said quietly, ignoring the widening of his eyes. "You'll never be good enough."

_It's my fault you're not Hokage by now, isn't it, Naruto?_


End file.
